What is Al-Anon?
I believe most of the time, drinking too much is simply a bad personal decision that isn’t very good for your health. Sometimes I drink too much, sometimes my friends do but I don’t feel compelled to do so. Basically I think alcohol becomes a problem when one of two things occur:
1. You become addicted and it has an impact on your health and wealth
2. Your drinking starts to have a negative effect on your friends or family.
When I was younger, a member of my family had an alcohol problem and it had a negative effect in our home. I lived at my family home trying to “fix things” until I moved out at age 19. Then, even though I had left, I was still occasionally roped into trying to resolve family dramas caused by the alcoholic. This all seemed “normal” to me (Maybe it seems normal to you too - well it isn’t).
Filed under Change, Depression, Focusing on you, Freedom, Relationships, Uncategorized | Comment (1)10 Tips for Overcoming Loneliness
“The best time to make friends is before you need them” - Ethel Barrymore
If you’ve gotten as far as this article then you’ve probably already realised the value of spending time with friends. With the advent of social networking sites it has become too easy to distance yourself from “real” friends and surround yourself with digital ones. Digital friends are easier to manage, when you feel tired or irritated all you have to do is switch them off. Real friends are more challenging but the rewards of a genuine friend are far more valuable.
Perhaps social networking can be used as a means to put you in touch with old friends but the important thing to remember is to take it to the next level and arrange to meet up with them.
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Overcoming Shyness
Some years ago I was standing outside a pub when an old blind man walked out the door and stood beside me. I watched with mild interest as he took a lighter from his pocket and lit a cigarette stub in his mouth. I was a painfully shy person at the time but for some reason I thought I’d speak to him. I commented on the bad weather and he agreed that it was pretty awful. I asked him if the rain made it harder to walk with his stick and he said no, he liked walking in the rain because there were less people in his way. Well we spoke for a while about many things including how a lot of the time when people helped him cross the road, he wouldn’t actually need to cross but he would, just to keep them from being embarrassed. He was a pretty funny guy.
Eventually I had to go so I said goodbye and the old man asked if he could have my hand for a second, a little confused I said of course. He took my hand and placed it on his chest for a second and then he let go and said “Thank you, you have touched a heart” and then he left. I was completely taken aback, what an amazing thing to say to a person, I think I beamed for a week! Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Fear, Feelings, Self-esteem, Shyness | Comment (0)How do I cope with pain?
For a long time I felt as if my pain and sorrow would never pass. My whole world had been turned upside down and I was struggling to come to terms with it all. One of the few friends I had left sent me a text one night, it said “Time heals all wounds”. Well my first instinct was to find him a hit him. What an irritating phrase! But it’s true and it does.
The pain I felt changed me in many ways, it made me find the courage to seek solutions I never would have tried before. I rang friends, I joined an aikido group to make new friends, I went to a councilor and eventually I joined a support group. I dealt with a lot of the problems that had added to me feeling so low. I never would have found any of these qualities if I hadn’t gone through my pain. It took time and it was hard but I came out of it all a stronger person. Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Crisis, Depression, Feelings, Grief, Pain | Comment (0)
