What is Enabling?
If you live with an alcoholic, you might have trouble seeing the difference between compassion and enabling.
If you cover for an alcoholic or clean up after them you are enabling them to continue their drinking without facing the consequences of their actions. You may think you are helping them them but you are actually creating a situation where the alcoholic can avoid learning from their mistakes.
In effect, if you were to allow the alcoholic to deal with the consequences of their mistakes (even if it hurt them), you would be making the compassionate choice for them. Continue reading »
What is Al-Anon?
I believe most of the time, drinking too much is simply a bad personal decision that isn’t very good for your health. Sometimes I drink too much, sometimes my friends do but I don’t feel compelled to do so. Basically I think alcohol becomes a problem when one of two things occur:
1. You become addicted and it has an impact on your health and wealth
2. Your drinking starts to have a negative effect on your friends or family.
When I was younger, a member of my family had an alcohol problem and it had a negative effect in our home. I lived at my family home trying to “fix things” until I moved out at age 19. Then, even though I had left, I was still occasionally roped into trying to resolve family dramas caused by the alcoholic. This all seemed “normal” to me (Maybe it seems normal to you too - well it isn’t).
Filed under Change, Depression, Focusing on you, Freedom, Relationships, Uncategorized | Comment (1)10 Tips for Overcoming Loneliness
“The best time to make friends is before you need them” - Ethel Barrymore
If you’ve gotten as far as this article then you’ve probably already realised the value of spending time with friends. With the advent of social networking sites it has become too easy to distance yourself from “real” friends and surround yourself with digital ones. Digital friends are easier to manage, when you feel tired or irritated all you have to do is switch them off. Real friends are more challenging but the rewards of a genuine friend are far more valuable.
Perhaps social networking can be used as a means to put you in touch with old friends but the important thing to remember is to take it to the next level and arrange to meet up with them.
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Do I care too much?
It’s a good thing to care. Loving others enough to feel for them and to want to help them is something that makes people special and admirable.
However some of us are programmed to care too much. Sometimes our ability to care can lead to us getting hurt. Continue reading »
