Move on from the past and become happier today
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
Unfortunately, it’s easy to focus on the past. The problem with this is it’s usually not worth your time to do so. For example, sometimes I find myself replaying arguments from years ago whilst brushing my teeth in the mornings. Sure I come up with some great lines but all I’m doing is making myself feel bad. Nowadays I’ve learned to recognise when I’m doing this and stop myself.
You can’t do anything about the past except learn from your mistakes and make sure not to repeat them today. That’s it, that’s all you can do with it. Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Feelings, Focusing on you, Self-esteem | Comment (1)Recovery from Emotional Pain
Something we all desire and have become used to, is having instant answers. The society we live in today is built on instant gratification - instant coffee, instant meals, instant downloads and instant cash. In fact we can google most problems and receive a few hundred potential solutions in a matter of seconds.
So when we encounter emotional pain for the first time and begin to look for answers, it can be somewhat of a shock to discover that recovery takes time. Recovery is made up of many steps - regaining all you lost, changing how you relate to people and cope with problems, learning to build trust and allowing time to heal your wounds. Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Depression, Feelings, Focusing on you, Pain, Uncategorized | Comment (0)Overcoming Shyness
Some years ago I was standing outside a pub when an old blind man walked out the door and stood beside me. I watched with mild interest as he took a lighter from his pocket and lit a cigarette stub in his mouth. I was a painfully shy person at the time but for some reason I thought I’d speak to him. I commented on the bad weather and he agreed that it was pretty awful. I asked him if the rain made it harder to walk with his stick and he said no, he liked walking in the rain because there were less people in his way. Well we spoke for a while about many things including how a lot of the time when people helped him cross the road, he wouldn’t actually need to cross but he would, just to keep them from being embarrassed. He was a pretty funny guy.
Eventually I had to go so I said goodbye and the old man asked if he could have my hand for a second, a little confused I said of course. He took my hand and placed it on his chest for a second and then he let go and said “Thank you, you have touched a heart” and then he left. I was completely taken aback, what an amazing thing to say to a person, I think I beamed for a week! Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Fear, Feelings, Self-esteem, Shyness | Comment (0)How do I cope with pain?
For a long time I felt as if my pain and sorrow would never pass. My whole world had been turned upside down and I was struggling to come to terms with it all. One of the few friends I had left sent me a text one night, it said “Time heals all wounds”. Well my first instinct was to find him a hit him. What an irritating phrase! But it’s true and it does.
The pain I felt changed me in many ways, it made me find the courage to seek solutions I never would have tried before. I rang friends, I joined an aikido group to make new friends, I went to a councilor and eventually I joined a support group. I dealt with a lot of the problems that had added to me feeling so low. I never would have found any of these qualities if I hadn’t gone through my pain. It took time and it was hard but I came out of it all a stronger person. Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Crisis, Depression, Feelings, Grief, Pain | Comment (0)
