What is Enabling?
If you live with an alcoholic, you might have trouble seeing the difference between compassion and enabling.
If you cover for an alcoholic or clean up after them you are enabling them to continue their drinking without facing the consequences of their actions. You may think you are helping them them but you are actually creating a situation where the alcoholic can avoid learning from their mistakes.
In effect, if you were to allow the alcoholic to deal with the consequences of their mistakes (even if it hurt them), you would be making the compassionate choice for them. Continue reading »
Learn to stop People-Pleasing
“Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame” - Thomas Kempis
I know how easy it can be to get caught up in people-pleasing because it’s something I used to rely on far too much myself. People-pleasing is directly related to your confidence. I didn’t have much confidence and didn’t place much value on my own judgement, so I constantly sought other people’s assurances. For example I probably wouldn’t have bothered to make just myself a nice meal, someone else had to be there to enjoy it and say it tasted good. Seems pretty silly eh? Why shouldn’t I appreciate my own cooking? Continue reading »
Filed under Balance, Detachment, Focusing on you, People-pleasing, Self-esteem | Comment (0)Do I care too much?
It’s a good thing to care. Loving others enough to feel for them and to want to help them is something that makes people special and admirable.
However some of us are programmed to care too much. Sometimes our ability to care can lead to us getting hurt. Continue reading »
