What is Enabling?
If you live with an alcoholic, you might have trouble seeing the difference between compassion and enabling.
If you cover for an alcoholic or clean up after them you are enabling them to continue their drinking without facing the consequences of their actions. You may think you are helping them them but you are actually creating a situation where the alcoholic can avoid learning from their mistakes.
In effect, if you were to allow the alcoholic to deal with the consequences of their mistakes (even if it hurt them), you would be making the compassionate choice for them. Continue reading »
My partner drinks too much
(This post also applies to a family member or friend and it might not be drinking, it could be any addictive compulsive behaviour.)
So, you’re worried about someone’s drinking and you want to know how you can help them?
One of the hardest ideas (at least it was for me), that you will ever have to come to grips with is that the best way for you to help them is to look after yourself.
That’s it.
Let it begin with you.
That isn’t what you want to hear right?
It wasn’t for me either. Perhaps up to now you’ve “helped” the person. Cleaned up their messes, covered over their mistakes. Maybe helped them eat, or sleep or pay their bills. Continue reading »
Do I care too much?
It’s a good thing to care. Loving others enough to feel for them and to want to help them is something that makes people special and admirable.
However some of us are programmed to care too much. Sometimes our ability to care can lead to us getting hurt. Continue reading »
