Learn to stop People-Pleasing

“Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame” - Thomas Kempis

I know how easy it can be to get caught up in people-pleasing because it’s something I used to rely on far too much myself. People-pleasing is directly related to your confidence. I didn’t have much confidence and didn’t place much value on my own judgement, so I constantly sought other people’s assurances. For example I probably wouldn’t have bothered to make just myself a nice meal, someone else had to be there to enjoy it and say it tasted good. Seems pretty silly eh? Why shouldn’t I appreciate my own cooking? Continue reading »

Filed under Balance, Detachment, Focusing on you, People-pleasing, Self-esteem | Comment (0)

Coping with Low Self Worth

When I was 27 I had very little self worth. At the time I had just broken up with a long term partner and had lost my home, a lot of friends and most of all - my sense of self esteem. I just didn’t think I was a very nice person. I was someone who was suddenly alone after years of arguments, shouting, screaming and frustration. I was someone who had ignored his friends for years and consequently they had all given up and gone away. I was alone and I deserved it.

One day I was carrying boxes into my new home (a tiny, smelly, overpriced bedsit - how glamorous!) when I heard a woman’s voice wailing from the top of the street. As I stood and watched, a crying, screaming woman walked down the street in my direction. I have to admit, I just figured she was drunk (a common occurrence in my neighbourhood) and decided to keep my nose to myself and continue with my box moving. Eventually she got as far as the house I was busy moving into and she sat by the front door crying. Well, I figured it was time to get involved. I cautiously approached and we started to talk. It turned out she had just had her handbag snatched. As I spoke to her she explained she lived on the ground floor of the building I was moving into. She had no way to get in to her apartment now that her keys had been stolen so she would have to wait around until her flatmate got home from work. Continue reading »

Filed under Balance, Feelings, Self-esteem, Shame | Comment (0)