What is Enabling?
If you live with an alcoholic, you might have trouble seeing the difference between compassion and enabling.
If you cover for an alcoholic or clean up after them you are enabling them to continue their drinking without facing the consequences of their actions. You may think you are helping them them but you are actually creating a situation where the alcoholic can avoid learning from their mistakes.
In effect, if you were to allow the alcoholic to deal with the consequences of their mistakes (even if it hurt them), you would be making the compassionate choice for them. Continue reading »
10 Goals for today
As I’ve mentioned before, one of the best ways to have a positive effect on your life today is to make a small change or take a small risk. Thinking big is good but small actions are more manageable and easier to achieve. With that in mind, here’s a list of 10 goals, any of which you could set yourself for today or tomorrow.
1. Get up an hour earlier.
Spend the time doing something you enjoy. Read a paper, watch the sun come up or just relax and drink a nice cup of tea.
2. Go for a walk.
If it’s too dark when you get home from work or school then try a walk after lunch. Just 2o minutes will help you to feel calmer and healthier.
3. Read a book.
We all say we haven’t the time but still manage to waste hours on front of the tv or our computers. Dust of that book you bought months ago and get started. Continue reading »
Move on from the past and become happier today
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
Unfortunately, it’s easy to focus on the past. The problem with this is it’s usually not worth your time to do so. For example, sometimes I find myself replaying arguments from years ago whilst brushing my teeth in the mornings. Sure I come up with some great lines but all I’m doing is making myself feel bad. Nowadays I’ve learned to recognise when I’m doing this and stop myself.
You can’t do anything about the past except learn from your mistakes and make sure not to repeat them today. That’s it, that’s all you can do with it. Continue reading »
Filed under Change, Feelings, Focusing on you, Self-esteem | Comment (1)
