10 Tips for Overcoming Loneliness

“The best time to make friends is before you need them” - Ethel Barrymore

If you’ve gotten as far as this article then you’ve probably already realised the value of spending time with friends. With the advent of social networking sites it has become too easy to distance yourself from “real” friends and surround yourself with digital ones. Digital friends are easier to manage, when you feel tired or irritated all you have to do is switch them off. Real friends are more challenging but the rewards of a genuine friend are far more valuable.
Perhaps social networking can be used as a means to put you in touch with old friends but the important thing to remember is to take it to the next level and arrange to meet up with them.

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Some of these suggestions might scare you a little but all good things are worth a little work.

1. Call a friend. Make the first move, don’t sit around waiting for them to ring you. If they can’t make it out for a beer or a coffee, don’t take it to heart, sometimes folk are just booked up. But they’ll remember, so don’t be surprised if they call you a week or two later.

2. Don’t eat lunch at your desk. Join your colleagues in the canteen if you have one, or arrange eating out. Sometimes having some company is more important than saving money by eating a packed sandwich.

3. Join a night class. I joined a French class a few years ago and had a good laugh with my class mates. Didn’t learn much French though I must admit. As you and your classmates will be there to learn the same thing, you’ll have something in common to talk about.

4. Join a club (even better then a class as there is no end date). This will probably mean going outside of your comfort zone, that’s good, you need to challenge yourself. I joined an aikido club and made some good friends. Some other clubs include sports clubs, book clubs and health clubs (with the added bonus of getting you fit).

5. Join a charity group. I spent some time feeding underprivileged people over the Christmas period, there was a great comradeship between the workers. There are many charity groups looking for volunteers, check at your local library or newspaper for postings.

6. Join a Business Association. There are lots of these. If you enjoy your line of work this is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Trade magazines are a good way to find Business Associations.

7. Go travelling. Stay at hostels as opposed to hotels. Travelers at hostels are usually very friendly and up for some fun.

8. Find a coffee shop and make it your “local”. Make sure you visit the same place a couple of times a week. You’ll start to recognise the same faces and can go from a nod and a smile to light conversation. I made one of my best friends this way, he was the coffee shop owner! Now we play gigs together on a regular basis.

9. Join a singles group. No it’s not sad. It’s the perfect way to meet someone outside of the pub/club scene.

10. Join a support group. Most of us have some demons to tackle. I make no secret of the fact that I’m a big fan of Al-Anon. I met some of the greatest people I’ve ever known there. Other support groups include AA, Over-eaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Families Anonymous or Codependency support groups.

Filed under Loneliness, Relationships, Self-esteem, Shyness |