Overcoming Shyness
Some years ago I was standing outside a pub when an old blind man walked out the door and stood beside me. I watched with mild interest as he took a lighter from his pocket and lit a cigarette stub in his mouth. I was a painfully shy person at the time but for some reason I thought I’d speak to him. I commented on the bad weather and he agreed that it was pretty awful. I asked him if the rain made it harder to walk with his stick and he said no, he liked walking in the rain because there were less people in his way. Well we spoke for a while about many things including how a lot of the time when people helped him cross the road, he wouldn’t actually need to cross but he would, just to keep them from being embarrassed. He was a pretty funny guy.
Eventually I had to go so I said goodbye and the old man asked if he could have my hand for a second, a little confused I said of course. He took my hand and placed it on his chest for a second and then he let go and said “Thank you, you have touched a heart” and then he left. I was completely taken aback, what an amazing thing to say to a person, I think I beamed for a week!
The point I’m trying to make with this story is that although I know it’s really, really hard to overcome shyness, it is something that is worth trying to defeat. I have found that the times I have made an effort to overcome shyness, have usually lead to a worthwhile reward.
I’m probably not 100% over my shyness but that’s ok, I’ve come far enough to be very happy with my progress. So how did I do it? Well, I used many methods. I pushed myself into doing things I never would have before. I joined an aikido class, I joined a French class and I joined a Project Management class (no, not at the same time!). The classes helped me begin to overcome my fear of talking in public.
Without a doubt the single biggest way I overcame my shyness was by joining Al-Anon. Al-anon taught me that people were interested in what I had to say, that I my feelings and ideas mattered, that I had value. But if Al-anon isn’t right for you, then that’s ok, there are plenty of other options, including public speaking courses or toastmasters (I’ve yet to try that one but I will, I’ve heard great reports) .
The important thing is to take it at your own pace but please do try, overcoming shyness is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. Good luck!
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