Learn to stop People-Pleasing

“Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame” - Thomas Kempis

I know how easy it can be to get caught up in people-pleasing because it’s something I used to rely on far too much myself. People-pleasing is directly related to your confidence. I didn’t have much confidence and didn’t place much value on my own judgement, so I constantly sought other people’s assurances. For example I probably wouldn’t have bothered to make just myself a nice meal, someone else had to be there to enjoy it and say it tasted good. Seems pretty silly eh? Why shouldn’t I appreciate my own cooking?

Ok, we all need to be thanked every now and again, it helps to make your efforts seem worthwhile. But if someone else’s appreciation or praise becomes the main reason you do the things you do, then you have given that person too much power over you.

Try not to take it to heart if someone doesn’t notice or forgets to thank you for something good you’ve done. You could feel angry or feel sorry for yourself but you don’t have to. If you can learn to place some faith in your own opinion then you won’t need someone else to thank you - though it’ll still be nice when someone does give you praise.

So why not give it a try today and see how it makes you feel? Praise yourself for the work you’ve done. If you’re giving it your best shot then you deserve to pat yourself on the back!

Filed under Balance, Detachment, Focusing on you, People-pleasing, Self-esteem |