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Coping with Low Self Worth
February 25th, 2008
When I was 27 I had very little self worth. At the time I had just broken up with a long term partner and had lost my home, a lot of friends and most of all - my sense of self esteem. I just didn’t think I was a very nice person. I was someone who was suddenly alone after years of arguments, shouting, screaming and frustration. I was someone who had ignored his friends for years and consequently they had all given up and gone away. I was alone and I deserved it.
One day I was carrying boxes into my new home (a tiny, smelly, overpriced bedsit - how glamorous!) when I heard a woman’s voice wailing from the top of the street. As I stood and watched, a crying, screaming woman walked down the street in my direction. I have to admit, I just figured she was drunk (a common occurrence in my neighbourhood) and decided to keep my nose to myself and continue with my box moving. Eventually she got as far as the house I was busy moving into and she sat by the front door crying. Well, I figured it was time to get involved. I cautiously approached and we started to talk. It turned out she had just had her handbag snatched. As I spoke to her she explained she lived on the ground floor of the building I was moving into. She had no way to get in to her apartment now that her keys had been stolen so she would have to wait around until her flatmate got home from work.
I asked her would she like to wait with me in my bedsit and (to my surprise) she agreed. While waited we talked about her experience, about how she was afraid her dad would be furious and about how she missed her family (she was from the middle east). I called the police and told them what had happened and they dropped by and brought the girl on a drive-by to see if she could spot the person who had robbed her. By the time she got back her flatmate was home so she was able to get back into her flat. I went back to my moving in and reflected on what an odd day I’d just had.
The next morning when I woke up there was a letter under my door. I forget now all that it said but the one line I remember was “Thanks a million for your kindness”.
I looked at that line for a long time. I remember being moved to tears and feeling something change inside me. I realised that I had forgotten that even though I had my faults, I was also a good person. All I had done for months on end was focus on the negative aspects of my personality and not once had I looked at anything good I had done.
It’s a lesson I’ve never forgotten.
Far too often we spend our time thinking about the bad aspects of ourselves. It’s true, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and we all have our failings but we all have our good sides too. Give yourself credit where it’s due. Take some time today to think about the good things you’ve done, the parts of yourself that you like. These are the things that make you the kind and remarkable human being that you are.
